Random Thoughts (a Little Blue)

Recently, I tried asiago cheese for the second time and, just like the first time, it really didn’t taste like anything. So, I recommend grating some onto a dish that already tastes exactly like you want it.

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I didn’t have an imaginary friend growing up. I don’t know whether to feel regret or pretend to feel regret.

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There’s nothing new about strikes… even Ramses the Third had to put up with them: The artisans building his tomb hadn’t been paid in a while, so they walked off the job. Ramses felt it was better to appease them so that they didn’t surreptitiously carve something into the Book of the Dead that might send them to Hell… or worse, Naples…

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The first time I noticed I was turning into my dad was when I’d get angry. The voice that came out of me was not my own; it was more of a low Oklahoma drawl. My boys knew that, as long as I was yelling, they were okay; but, if cowboy dad came out, my patience was spent. Fortunately, neither I or my dad were big believers in corporal punishment. But, I wasn’t above destroying either child’s credit rating as a punishment. GOOD LUCK BUYING A CAR, KIDS!!!

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Have you ever fallen down and your dog immediately starts humping you? I get the impression that the dog’s been planning it. Afterwards, I find myself reviewing every interaction we’d had, just to prove to my satisfaction I wasn’t leading him on…

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John Henry is a folk hero. He is best known for working himself to death… making him a favorite of Ayn Rand and laissez faire capitalists everywhere.

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At the drive-in, I made out with a girl for the entirety of Apocalypse Now. I made it to third base. It was a major milestone in my life because, up until then, I had theorized the existence of breasts; but, at that moment, I had tangible proof.

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What happened to the great illness names like “Whooping cough”, “mumps” and “polio”? Now, we use names like “covid19”. We really don’t have enough epidemics to make it necessary to name diseases like they were part numbers for a washing machine.

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Even drug companies don’t try very hard in the naming department… at least for ailments. They usually just call something by its symptoms or by the first letters of the symptoms. Like RLS (restless leg syndrome). Weird because they are so creative naming their pills. Names like “Moxifloxicin”, which sounds more like a robot-rabbit name; or, “Ustekinumab”, which is nonsense but seems like it must be a real word written backwards…

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A lot of people pay big money to have someone verbally abuse, debase and insult them… when they COULD get married and their in-laws would do it for free…