What you see below is a comedic riff. You take an idea and try to riff on it a certain number of times. I choose ten times because that’s how many fingers I have since the surgery. I’m inviting my readers to add their own. You can ping-back my site and use the hashtag #VILEHUMOR, and then—I’m just kidding. I don’t know how to set up that crap. JUST PUT IT IN THE COMMENTS SECTION. Any that I feel are as good as mine, I will acknowledge later; any that I feel are better than mine will be cheerfully deleted…
I know Dr. Vile is Evil Because…
He takes candy from babies and has that candy forced down the throats of diabetics…
He published a mystery novel comprised of the last two pages of every best-selling mystery novel published since 1956.
He put a web cam near his bird bath and uses the footage to maintain an avian voyeur web site…
You’ve heard of fishing with dynamite? Well, Dr. Vile uses dynamite to harvest saffron…
He plagiarizes the world domination and destruction schemes of other evil geniuses…
He disguises himself as a third grade teacher and teaches wrong multiplication tables to children.
He’s so evil that snakes won’t bite him out of professional courtesy.
He’s developed a technique to hypnotize puppies so that they believe they’ve been beaten, starved and abused; then, when they cower at seeing him, he can innocently ask, “I wonder what brought THAT on”…
He poisons city water supplies with prescription drugs so that one to five percent of them have symptoms like rashes, heavy menstrual flows, coma and/or irritability. The other ninety five percent will have to live with the survivor’s guilt as well as having their acne cured…
You know how every bag of prunes has at least one that tastes like something you dug out of a horse’s ear? Well, he has nothing to do with that; but, he’s done absolutely nothing to stop it, either…
Hahaha…He’s so evil that snakes won’t bite him out of professional courtesy. 🙂 Fun read!
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Thank you, Robyn.
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…he’s so evil that he swaps the letters around on people’s keyboards, so they’re never quite sure why they keep making the same typos…
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The first one comes in strong! BTW, I did that to a previous manager of mine who didn’t touch-type. Sadly, after typing a few words, he knew exactly who did it… He bellowed over the cubicle walls and I had to make things right on his keyboard.
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The funniest is when you swap the keys that nobody really touch-types, like the bracket keys. Bonus points if you flip them vertically because then they still kinda look right, too 😂😂😂
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So when life gives you lemons https://rebelfish.blog/2018/05/21/when-life-gives-you-lemons/. I’m not worried about this one being deleted as it was written before I knew what humor was. Maybe I still don’t know, let’s hope I do as I liked reading this…
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When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Nothing yet on what to do when life gives you a truckload of rotten cranberries and rusty hypodermic needles… Although that would’ve come in handy a few weeks ago.
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Dr. Vile entered ABBA in eurovision 😊
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Beautiful!
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Does that mean you’re going to delete it???
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That’s a tough question to respond to. If I say, “yes”, it means it is better than my posts but then it’s gone. If I say “no”, it means I considered it worse than my responses and will therefore keep it.
So, let’s just say that I’m issuing a position paper on this topic very soon which will be well researched with excellent citations and will ultimately not take a stand one way or another.
I hope that answers your question, Deb…
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