Make sure someone else knows your itinerary, your boat number and who to call if you don’t come back. If that someone is on the boat with you, this precaution will lose most of its effectiveness.
Be sure that everyone has a life jacket or at least has a life-jacketed passenger assigned to them that they can desperately cling to.
If you are intoxicated, you are twice as likely to have a boating accident; however, if you are not intoxicated, you have seventy-five percent smaller chance of your friends thinking that you are cool.
Worried about how safe your boat is? The Coast Guard will look over your boat for free, AND, they’ll also happily find any drugs you might have lost on board.
A nautical mile is about fifteen percent longer than a regular mile and is equivalent to a minute of latitude. This will come in handy if your GPS fails and you have to rely on your sextant…
Stock your boat with a fire extinguisher, a first-aid kit and a bucket. Also, a length of rope, in case someone falls overboard and garbage bags, in case the sharks get to him before the rope does…
If your boat completely capsizes, you might be able to climb to the bottom of the ship and survive unless you are a fat lady or an ex-hooker.
In most boating situations, right of way belongs to the person that has the least to live for.
Keep a flare gun on board just in case you cannot find any other way to accidentally set your boat on fire…
Learn to swim. Seems like a no-brainer but you’d be surprised if I told you how many people take boats but cannot swim. You’d be really surprised if I told you from a dark corner of your bedroom in the middle of the night.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
Heres one for you – if you buy a boat and decide to sail it home, make sure its not taking on water beforehand because the wife you left at home with the young kids ain’t calling the lifeguards for you.
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Seems loosely based on personal experience, Deb.
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Perhaps – I didn’t add that the dog was haemorrhaging as her womb had seperated at the time and they had to be rushed to the vet but that would just be coinidental, wouldn’t it?
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How’d the dog do?
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You made me laugh! 💗😊
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Thanks, Lisa. I enjoy writing them.
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haha dark corner..halloween cometh!
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Sadly, I’ve already addressed Dracula and Frankenstein. Hmmm…. maybe werewolves?
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“You’d be really surprised if I told you from a dark corner of your bedroom in the middle of the night.” 🙂
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I wasn’t sure about that one; but, people seem to like it. Maybe they like it a lot and I should’ve made a novel out of it, called, “The Dark Corner of Your Bedroom in the Middle of the Night”. And, it could be about Lyndon Johnson because ALL of my novels have been about Lyndon Johnson… Even the science fiction ones…
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that one got me too!
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