Stuff Left Over From My Other Stuff

 

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If you look at dollars per word, writing a novel is nowhere near as lucrative as writing a ransom note.

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You cannot put a price on good health… well, not a reasonable price, anyway.

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There’s no ‘i’ in “team” but there is an ‘i’ in limeade, so, if you need one, that’s where you should look.

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They take your shoelaces away when they lock you up, ostensibly to keep you from killing yourself; however, it is also to help those who cannot tie their shoes. If you ask an armed robber to tie your shoe, you are going to lose a lot of street cred.

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To be cautious, I coat my body in creosote almost every day to deter cannibals. If that doesn’t stop them, I can always lie on my back and pretend to be a railroad tie…

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When you reach the end of your rope, tie a noose and do the right thing.

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No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever remembered.

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I’ve got to remember NOT to talk about fractional distillation of hydrocarbons with women I’ve just met, even IF it is relevant to the conversation.

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We all need a leader that we can stand behind… especially, if a sniper starts shooting into the crowd.

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Never try to teach a pig to sing. It’s a waste of time and it annoys the pig; moreover, auto-tune will help the pig to sing well enough from day one, freeing up time to look for a tour band and to pick out an iconic wardrobe for your pig’s meteoric rise to the top of the charts.

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6 thoughts on “Stuff Left Over From My Other Stuff

  1. Thes e are Great!
    Each one terrific…great lead since it is.a.WRITING BLOG.

    topical , hiding behind politicians in a gun massacre, teach a pig.to.sing by autotune…akak lipstick on a pig….

    Just what the week n÷ededaccording to one of.my friends, I need grandkids…

    Maybe, but f9r now.i would.settle.for.witty prose writing friends.

    Liked by 1 person

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