Thoughts as Random as Bikes Can be Tandem

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Jim Morrison once said, “A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself”. Being friendless gives you that exact same freedom and you don’t have to remember birthdays…

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I get tired of my landlord walking around like he owns the place…

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I traveled far and wide to find something worth journeying around the world for. In the end, I found it in my own backyard: A dead gopher.

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If you see a robot walking around saying, “Must destroy all mankind”, he’s probably joking; but, I’d pretend to be a cat or sloth until I knew for sure…

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I’m just glad that I live in America where any paranoid schizophrenic ex-con with a dream can buy a semi-automatic weapon.

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The Bluebird of Happiness” is a metaphor for how elusive happiness is. The metaphor falls apart when you realize that you can collect as many bluebirds as you want with birdseed and a b b gun… unless that’s what makes you happy…

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If you are a politician who gets caught in a hotel room with a prostitute, don’t explain that she is your fiance and marry her. Pretty Woman has mislead an entire generation…

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I could solve world hunger in a month… at least that’s my assumption. I’d need full authority and access to a lot of food. A special name-tag would be nice…

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A lot of kids are named according to what their parents worship. That is why I named my oldest, “German Potato Salad”…

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16 thoughts on “Thoughts as Random as Bikes Can be Tandem

  1. Fiddle Didi to get more potatoes. Don’t forget to slather on some creamy white.. mayo. Maybe some seeded mustard too. I think mustard gives a nice extra tang of flavour for your tongue.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I describe my writing style as the smart-ass who sits in the back row of the class and makes snide remarks about what the teacher just said. I.e. I usually work off of reality as a skeleton…

      Like

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