[Well, I’ve been on furlough for the past month. I’m finally going back to work, which will be swell, because…]
Now, we can stop trying to pay our rent with Charmin coupons.
We can stop replacing our insulin with Hawaiian Punch.
We can afford to drive to work rather than spend the night at work sleeping on the handicapped toilet, legs pulled up so the janitors don’t spot us…
We don’t have to listen to our relatives, who are on Medicaid and disability, tell us how much better their life choices were than ours.
My neighbor’s pigeons won’t have to sleep with one eye open…
I can continue to work towards the goal of dying at my desk on a Friday evening…
We can quit wandering through the city asking for directions to the bread line or soup kitchen; moreover, we won’t need to tell other federal workers the directions to bread lines or soup kitchens.
We can start making long term plans again… like supper.
We can finally STOP watching CSPAN.
We can DO OUR JOBS… after we relearn all of our passwords, programming languages, database structures and what a computer is.
I’ll finally have to wash my hair.