The Son of Hercules vs the Terror of Random Thoughts

Image result for son of hercules

 

Related imageDriving in Florida is like taking your life in your hands just after you’ve buttered your hands.

 

Image result for sundaeWhen choosing between two evils, I always pick the one nearest the build-your-own-sundae bar…

 

Image result for clown with axeThe procedure was every neurosurgeon’s nightmare: He hadn’t studied for the surgery the night before, there was a clown with an axe outside the door and he was in his underwear, although no one else seemed to notice.

 

Image result for doritosA “stoner” is someone who, when given a choice between paying his rent or buying pot, will eat Doritos and play video games.

 

Image result for taken neesonThe movie Taken would’ve been more interesting if Liam Neeson was morbidly obese: If you let my daughter go now that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you… then, I’ll stop to catch my breath because I get REALLY winded…

 

Image result for receiptYou don’t own me!”, she exclaimed… but that was BEFORE I showed her the receipt…

 

Image result for mccloudWhen I was growing up, the most popular character on television and in movies was the renegade cop who played by his own rules. If we’d taken a moment and thought about it, the concept is more than a little terrifying. There was a chance that his rules were better than the ones that were currently in place; but, more likely they’d be much worse. Or, even just arbitrary, like “Fire Randomly Into a Crowd Thursdays”, for example. You do have to admire someone who plays by his own rules because that is the basis for being a toddler. And, who doesn’t love toddlers?

Image result for catDon’t think of a cat as a bad pet. Think of it as a furry adorable companion that hates your guts.

 

Image result for eyeOne of my eyes is smaller than the other; however, I also have one eye that is LARGER than the other so it all balances out…

Image result for vin dieselI’ve done the math in four, five and six dimensions, but I still cannot conceive of an alternate universe in which I actually like Vin Diesel.

12 thoughts on “The Son of Hercules vs the Terror of Random Thoughts

    1. I had a cat who LOVED me… but I would NEVER get another one. Too much torn furniture… litterbox smell…

      She did assault my ex-wife a lot, so there was that benefit…

      Like

  1. Haha – I knew I was in for the treat right after I read the first one. And I kept going and could now completely relate to: “Don’t think of a cat as a bad pet. Think of it as a furry adorable companion that hates your guts.” We’re still trying to figure out why ours gets so snippy at times!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Cats are essentially monitor lizards with fur. You can’t figure out what they will do next, although you can be sure the smell of their urine will make any house uninhabitable in just a few weeks.

      I’ll miss that house…

      Liked by 1 person

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