Driving in Florida is like taking your life in your hands just after you’ve buttered your hands.
When choosing between two evils, I always pick the one nearest the build-your-own-sundae bar…
The procedure was every neurosurgeon’s nightmare: He hadn’t studied for the surgery the night before, there was a clown with an axe outside the door and he was in his underwear, although no one else seemed to notice.
A “stoner” is someone who, when given a choice between paying his rent or buying pot, will eat Doritos and play video games.
The movie Taken would’ve been more interesting if Liam Neeson was morbidly obese: If you let my daughter go now that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you… then, I’ll stop to catch my breath because I get REALLY winded…
“You don’t own me!”, she exclaimed… but that was BEFORE I showed her the receipt…
When I was growing up, the most popular character on television and in movies was the renegade cop who played by his own rules. If we’d taken a moment and thought about it, the concept is more than a little terrifying. There was a chance that his rules were better than the ones that were currently in place; but, more likely they’d be much worse. Or, even just arbitrary, like “Fire Randomly Into a Crowd Thursdays”, for example. You do have to admire someone who plays by his own rules because that is the basis for being a toddler. And, who doesn’t love toddlers?
Don’t think of a cat as a bad pet. Think of it as a furry adorable companion that hates your guts.
One of my eyes is smaller than the other; however, I also have one eye that is LARGER than the other so it all balances out…
I’ve done the math in four, five and six dimensions, but I still cannot conceive of an alternate universe in which I actually like Vin Diesel.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
I love Vin Diesel, especially in Pitch Black. I also have a cat that hates me but still eats my food so …..
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I had a cat who LOVED me… but I would NEVER get another one. Too much torn furniture… litterbox smell…
She did assault my ex-wife a lot, so there was that benefit…
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My cat assaults everyone … except for one of the dogs. They share a bed 🙄
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Who, in the far distant past, thought that cats would make good pets?
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He is a mega nerd. All those movies and crap so he could finally play out his dungeons and dragons character for realsies.
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I see him as a half-orc with 18 strength and 3 charisma…
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Hahaha. Send him barreling down some monkeys to fetch some skittles.
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That’s the spirit!
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Haha – I knew I was in for the treat right after I read the first one. And I kept going and could now completely relate to: “Don’t think of a cat as a bad pet. Think of it as a furry adorable companion that hates your guts.” We’re still trying to figure out why ours gets so snippy at times!
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Cats are essentially monitor lizards with fur. You can’t figure out what they will do next, although you can be sure the smell of their urine will make any house uninhabitable in just a few weeks.
I’ll miss that house…
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Liam Neeson seems to star in the same movie with a slightly different plot. They should just be Taken sequels.
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Movie producers are not known for their imaginations…
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