The Loathsome Turpitude of Random Thoughts

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Catherine the Great, after a job well-done…

I was watching a documentary on Catherine the Great in which they explicitly said that she DIDN’T have sex with a horse. In my experience, when you have to tell people that you didn’t have sex with a horse, you probably had sex with a horse…

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I’m pretty close to what medical science considers my ideal weight. I’d just need to be two inches taller and two people.

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I own a lot of movies about blind swordsmen and swords-women who can cut insects in half mid-flight. I even own a spaghetti western with a blind gunfighter who shoots down dozens of bad guys at a time. So, meeting an actual real-life blind person is a big let down for me…

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You’ve have to be quite the persuasive speaker to convince me to be in favor of volcanoes…

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Was I eyeing her like a cut of meat? Yes, but I would’ve gotten away with it if I hadn’t also brought sauerkraut.

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I refrained from using the word “myriad” for an entire week and NO ONE NOTICED!

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Don’t think of airborne toxins and greenhouse gases as pollution. Think of them as aggressive terraforming…

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Neuroscientist Gina Rippon wrote the book, The Gendered Brain, in which she postulates that the differences between the brain function of the two genders is negligible. Doesn’t seem like a good idea for a book but, then again, I’ll never understand how women think…

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A lot of people are grossed out by South Americans eating Guinea Pig; but, is it really any different than eating a squirrel or sewer rat?

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If you can make a heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;

You’ll still have to come up with a credible story to tell the wife.

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19 thoughts on “The Loathsome Turpitude of Random Thoughts

  1. I just can’t see the point of eating guinea pigs – I mean you’d have to eat so many to actually be full. Here’s a true one for you – in Australia we import rabbit fur to make the akubra hats – we put up a bl**dy rabbit proof fence. Does this not tell you something.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. The great wall of China was built to keep the rabbits out. Just like our fence. Bunnykins the easter bunny is the king of this great south land and we dare not anger him lest he mutates into a wolverine.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I’d just like to state publicly, here and now, that I have NEVER taken an order of baked ziti (topped with some of the finest mozzarella cheese it has been my pleasure to experience) and stuffed it up my left nostril.

    Liked by 1 person

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