I probably COULDN’T take out an armed band of international terrorists using only my wits and karate skills.
I may outlive my sex drive by twenty or thirty years.
The world is NOT a better place for my mere presence in it.
Even though I am godfather to one of my nieces, I still can’t order hits on people.
I’m feeling as good or better than I’ll ever feel again.
The dog I had when I was a kid probably thought I was a pain in the ass.
Lou Ferrigno will never play the Hulk again…
My modified South Beach diet, where I only eat protein, fats and carbohydrates, is actually just called “eating”.
By the time I’m able to create a robot duplicate of myself that I can send to work in my place, my bosses will have already replaced me with a robot. It probably won’t look like me.
Most of the celebrities that I like probably wouldn’t care much for me.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
When I saw the title I thought you were going to say Neil Sedaka records 🙁
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He’s got a weird voice, eh? But, he’s quite the little song writer…
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We used to say that about Peter Allen 😊
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He wrote “I Honestly Love You” for Olivia Newton John. That got a LOT of airplay when I was a young man…
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“Even though I am godfather to one of my nieces, I still can’t order hits on people.” Cracked me up – must be hard to hear as a godfather 🙂
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You write me this comment, now, on the day of my daughter’s wedding?
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Hahahaa….
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I guess that’s why you write them. Don’t use a screen reader on this page.
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Modified South Beach? I like it.
Add coffee ice cream and chocolate cookies and you’ve got my version.
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I know, right? Why can’t a diet consist of the occasional gorging?
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Or more than occasional. It works for bears…. and if I could hibernate? I’d still be a size 8.
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Unfortunately, the sizing chart for bear sizes differs from people sizes pretty dramatically…
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