Signs You Might be Having Too Much Casual Sex

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You have repetitive stress disorder in your hips.

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You spend forty-five minutes awkwardly talking to someone in the dark who turns out to be your pants and a towel and you wonder who you had sex with.

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You won’t put your address on a job application because you don’t want any emotional blow-back if things go bad…

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The scariest thing you hear during sex is “you look familiar”…

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Your iron-clad rule is “no more than four sexual partners from the same apartment complex”.

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You end up pregnant and the only trait you can come up with for the father is that he was male and probably a mammal.

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You have venereal diseases that are named after you.

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You have trouble recognizing women you’ve already met unless they are making an orgasm face.

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You decide to notch your bedpost for every sexual partner you have but there are no notches because YOU ARE TOO BUSY HAVING SEX TO DO IT.

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You use your brother’s name so often that they two of you have just decided to switch identities entirely…

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13 thoughts on “Signs You Might be Having Too Much Casual Sex

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