Things that are Hard for Me to Hear

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I probably COULDN’T take out an armed band of international terrorists using only my wits and karate skills.

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I may outlive my sex drive by twenty or thirty years.

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The world is NOT a better place for my mere presence in it.

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Even though I am godfather to one of my nieces, I still can’t order hits on people.

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I’m feeling as good or better than I’ll ever feel again.

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The dog I had when I was a kid probably thought I was a pain in the ass.

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Lou Ferrigno will never play the Hulk again…

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My modified South Beach diet, where I only eat protein, fats and carbohydrates, is actually just called “eating”.

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By the time I’m able to create a robot duplicate of myself that I can send to work in my place, my bosses will have already replaced me with a robot.  It probably won’t look like me.

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Most of the celebrities that I like probably wouldn’t care much for me.

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12 thoughts on “Things that are Hard for Me to Hear

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