Travlin’ Abroad!

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You get a better exchange rate when you use a bank or ATM to convert your American dollars into whatever cheap, colorful and ridiculous currency is being used in the country you are visiting.

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Make sure you get all necessary vaccinations before traveling to another country.  This means ALL vaccinations because other countries are cesspools of disease and infection… except those that have functioning cesspools, ironically…

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Make sure that your electronics will work with the electrical systems of the country you are visiting.  There’s nothing worse than having your SmartPhone run out of juice forcing you to actually acknowledge and talk to other people.

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Carry some cash because there are quaint out of the way places that don’t take credit cards and quaint, out of the way muggers who don’t take credit cards either.

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Realize that some of the nicer countries have entrance fees that could be over a hundred dollars.  Some of the crappier countries have exit fees which might also be steep are well worth it.

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Carry a copy of your passport with you and keep a copy of your passport at home or with a friend.  Actually, make several copies and arrange them on a canvas; this way, if they don’t believe you are who you are, they might believe you are Andy Warhol…

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Make sure your insurance will cover whatever primitive leech-related treatments you may need when you inevitably get cholera traveling abroad.

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Traveling often constipates people.  If this is a problem, simply drink the local water and it should clear right up and then some.

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You cannot re-enter the country with ivory that is less than a hundred years old and you’ll have to prove the age of any ivory you have.  A photograph of the elephant posing with Josephine Baker or F. Scott Fitzgerald should be proof enough.

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Avoid New Zealand.  It may have “new” in the name but parts of it are really run down…

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22 thoughts on “Travlin’ Abroad!

  1. And then some! 🙂 I don’t really have the travel bug (at all) and now I really don’t. It’s always the first question they ask you at the Doctor’s – have you traveled outside of the country recently? They know. Disease is out there waiting……

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know, right? My son lived in Mexico for four months. While he was there, he accidentally got a bit of the local water in him and was down for several days. He said everyone who comes there has to go through it at least once…

      Liked by 1 person

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