You get a better exchange rate when you use a bank or ATM to convert your American dollars into whatever cheap, colorful and ridiculous currency is being used in the country you are visiting.
Make sure you get all necessary vaccinations before traveling to another country. This means ALL vaccinations because other countries are cesspools of disease and infection… except those that have functioning cesspools, ironically…
Make sure that your electronics will work with the electrical systems of the country you are visiting. There’s nothing worse than having your SmartPhone run out of juice forcing you to actually acknowledge and talk to other people.
Carry some cash because there are quaint out of the way places that don’t take credit cards and quaint, out of the way muggers who don’t take credit cards either.
Realize that some of the nicer countries have entrance fees that could be over a hundred dollars. Some of the crappier countries have exit fees which might also be steep are well worth it.
Carry a copy of your passport with you and keep a copy of your passport at home or with a friend. Actually, make several copies and arrange them on a canvas; this way, if they don’t believe you are who you are, they might believe you are Andy Warhol…
Make sure your insurance will cover whatever primitive leech-related treatments you may need when you inevitably get cholera traveling abroad.
Traveling often constipates people. If this is a problem, simply drink the local water and it should clear right up and then some.
You cannot re-enter the country with ivory that is less than a hundred years old and you’ll have to prove the age of any ivory you have. A photograph of the elephant posing with Josephine Baker or F. Scott Fitzgerald should be proof enough.
Avoid New Zealand. It may have “new” in the name but parts of it are really run down…
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
You make me want to sign right up!
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Then, I have done my job!
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We had to have rabies shots before going to Zimbabwe but funnily enough it was in my home town that I was nearly bitten by a fox. There’s irony for you 😊
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And without cesspools, yet!
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We have sinkholes, do they count?
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Count? They are the main reason I’d go to Australia…
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Makes me NOT want to leave my house
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That WAS my goal…
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Haha! It’s working
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That was a bit mean about New Zealand 😦
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I thought you’d like the mention. I’m like the eight year old boy who only interacts with girls by throwing rocks at them…
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There’s nothing worse than having to actually talk to people. Take as many phones as you possibly can in case you can’t recharge any of them….
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And, make them smart phones because you want to interact with other intellectuals…
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Functioning cesspools is a must on my holiday travel list…
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Ask for them by name!
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And then some! 🙂 I don’t really have the travel bug (at all) and now I really don’t. It’s always the first question they ask you at the Doctor’s – have you traveled outside of the country recently? They know. Disease is out there waiting……
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I know, right? My son lived in Mexico for four months. While he was there, he accidentally got a bit of the local water in him and was down for several days. He said everyone who comes there has to go through it at least once…
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Great post 🙂
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Thank you!
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On vacation in Ireland years ago, I dropped a rock on my foot, but I didn’t feel a thing because it was a sham-rock. Was I ever lucky!
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I haven’t lived this day, yet; however, I’m pretty sure that is the worst joke I’ll see, today…
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I apologize for the sham(e)ful joke (ha ha, you were wrong about the first one being the worst one)!
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