Fish Think

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I got the idea from River’s World.  Yeah, it’s a little weak but I thought, “what do I care?  My readers deserve nothing from me”  But, I was immediately sorry when my readers left the room in tears.  I was confused:  Do I follow?  When I follow THAT never helps things… but when I DON’T follow, THAT’S when I really get into trouble.  Well, the important thing is, I’m sorry…

So, what DO fish think?

Cogito Ergo Swum:  I sink, therefore I swam”

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A worm?  Dangling here?  I’ve noticed that all of my friends that have taken one of these worms has disappeared without a trace.  I wonder if it has something to do with—oh, look!  A delicious cricket with a hook in it!”

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Would it be easier to swim upstream and avoid bears, fishermen and dams to spawn and die; or, to just admit to my parents that I’m gay and continue living with my roommate in the ocean?”

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Five thousand more laps around the tiny castle and I will have lived an eventful life”

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 “When God is pleased, fish food falls from the sky; when God is angry, there is a great tapping of the glass”

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I’m sorry I cheated on you, Doris; but, she led me on with her pheromones and bursting egg sac… plus, you haven’t been giving me the attention you once did… plus a fish has needs, you know (I like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain)… AND, it was inevitable because WE ARE ALL COMPLETELY IDENTICAL… which is the excuse I should’ve led with…”

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Why yes, I’m a Pisces…. We’re ALL Pisces”

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A psychedelic jam-band named after me?  Really?  There’s a band called ‘Steven’?”

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Sometimes I want to leave the water and evolve into something more… something with complex emotions and abstract thoughts; then, I remember that I can pee wherever I want and eat my own children and I think, ‘Why ruin a good thing?’”

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I don’t mind being eaten by a dolphin.  I just HATE that sarcastic expression on their faces”

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21 thoughts on “Fish Think

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