Get eight of them together and hold a lemon party. Step on one and hold a lemon funeral.
Walk into a pet store with a lemon in your hands and shout angrily, “The wings fell off of this canary you sold me!”
Always keep lemons in your refrigerator and they’ll keep you informed of any plots against you the eggs might have.
If you have squirrels in your attic, keep a supply of candied lemon peel on hand because it might take your mind off of the squirrels in your attic.
Squeeze half a lemon into your sausage gravy for a fresh citrusy flavor that has no business being in sausage gravy.
Lemons can be preserved in salt to prepare them for their trip to the Egyptian afterlife.
Using an incline, you can race lemons. It might seem stupid but not as stupid as watching women’s golf.
The Italians make a strong liqueur called “limoncello”. They enjoy it as a dessert beverage and for adding to sausage gravy.
Rub a lemon on your toilet seat if you are bored and want to humiliate a piece of fruit.
With a sharpie and a lemon, you can see what facial expressions might look like before you commit your face to making them…