This Day in History: July 29

William Powell born on this day in 1892, the first act of a desperate man. Known primarily for the Thin Man series of moves, he managed to carry off his screen persona as a tough guy despite the fact that he weighed no more than a toddler.

 
Hague Convention treaties were signed on this day in 1899. Despot and historical object-lesson, Nicholas II, got twenty-three nations of the northern hemisphere together to establish rules and guidelines over conflict resolution, air warfare, chemical warfare and ringing someone’s doorbell and running away. It was so successful, they had another convention eight years later. The items in that peace plan were more than enough to keep everyone busy until they could start World War One.

Margaret Thatcher signed the agreement for the construction of the “Chunnel” on this day, giving claustrophobics all over Europe something new to avoid. The tunnel would connect England and France under the English Channel. Previously, the only way to traverse the English Channel was to either take a boat, or slather up one’s body in grease and swim. As a symbol of the United Kingdom’s friendship with France, when Brexit is fully implemented, the tunnel will be blown up.

Impressionist painter and everyone’s favorite one-eared nut, Vincent Van Gogh died on this day in 1890. For those of you who do not know, impressionism is like regular art if someone smeared it with their thumbs while it was drying. Van Gogh shot himself in the wheatfield where he painted “Wheatfield with Crows”. Van Gogh lived a lifetime of obscurity and poverty; if he’d known that, after his death, that same painting would sell for over twenty million dollars, he’d have probably shot himself a second time.

International Tiger Day is celebrated on 29 July, for the purpose of raising awareness of tigers around the world. I’ve never met someone who didn’t know what a tiger was, so it must be working. By the way, if you’ve been holding off because of the cost, THIS is the day that most stores put their tiger poison on sale…

The discovery of trans-Neptunian dwarf-planet and glorified space debris, Eris was announced on this day in 2005. Eris is three times the distance from the Sun as Pluto, so, if you want to go there, make sure and pack some coloring books for the kids. Eris has one moon, Dysnomia. Eris was partially responsible for Pluto being demoted because astronomers realized if they kept adding planets all the time, they wouldn’t have time for the sky-diving and orgies that astronomers are known for. Dwarf-planets, by the way, prefer to be called “little people”…