I’ve watched three dozen Fiona Apple videos in a row. Now, everyone I see looks fat…
It occurred to me that, if I went to my grave, never knowing what a “causeway” is, it wouldn’t affect the quality of my life at all…
No one ever got broke appealing to the lowest common denominator… except that guy who opened a chain of Down Syndrome strip clubs…
I find it odd that, with all of the paintings of Lao Tzu, not one of them depicted him in the nude.
I lost my ethics for a month. When I came to, I was selling Chileans “earthquake vaccinations” for ten dollars a pop…
If the poles shift, will Santa Claus have to move?
I used to feel sorry for myself because I had no foot; but, then I met a man who was Sean Spicer…
If I had a dime for every time I complained about the Washington Metro, it would be the weirdest way to make money I can imagine.
The way to win a debate is to know the subject, understand the opposing views and to imply your opponent is a pedophile…
I think we’d fear and hate sharks even more if they were smug.
Every idea deserves consideration including this stupid sentence here.
Fear is a great motivator… except fear of motivation… then, it just gets confusing…
More people die from prescription opiates than from heroin, meth and cocaine combined; so, if you MUST get high, don’t take prescription opiates, combine heroin, meth and cocaine and take that…
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
I think we’d fear and hate sharks even more if they were smug….🦈🦈
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Who said sharks aren’t smug?
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They, in fact, think that are “all that”…
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I’d looked up the meaning of “causeway” a long time ago since there’s a place called Causeway Bay here in Hong Kong. So if not for that, I may not have known what that word means.
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If we’re being honest, I looked it up right after writing that line because, after admitting ignorance, I had to do something about it. I am so ashamed… But, I will NEVER look up “viaduct”…
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