The Science Monster That Ate Seattle

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Geneticists have just discovered the DNA sequence that makes people want to study heredity because, what choice did they have?

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Harvard and international astronomers have announced the discovery of nearly a hundred exo-planets. This will change dramatically the way people look at Harvard and international astronomers.

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Chemists are currently working on a method which determines the chemical properties of superheavy elements without making them self-conscious about their weight…

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Korean scientists at South Korea’s Institute for Basic Science, have managed to use visible light to penetrate 2 millimeters into a mouse’s skull. This was a tremendous victory for those who felt one millimeter was only half as far as they wanted.

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University of Bradford researchers, led by Dr. Hassan Ugail, have determined that men and women smile differently; so, artificial intelligence can be created to determine gender visually based upon a subject’s smile. Researchers are still stymied on the problem of giving subjects a reason to smile.

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Geologists from Southern Methodist University have determined that a four thousand square mile region in Texas is sinking due to oil drilling in the area. Sinkholes and structural damage due to unstable ground threaten to make the area look pretty much like anyplace else in West Texas…

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American Psychological Association has determined that children who are older than the other children in their grade tend to go on to college more frequently. When they get to college, they also tend to more frequently beat up other students for their beer money.

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Materials scientists have created a substance that has all of the physical properties of natural rubber plus a deep tragicomic sense of irony…

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A University of Georgia study has determined that high school dropouts tend to have more aggression and poorer study habits. They’ve also determined that rabbits have long ears, Pringles come in cans and Gilligan’s Island was not real but just a situation comedy.

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A guide to the study of ancient proteins (palaeo-proteomics) has been published by researchers associated with Max Planck Institute for the Science of Human History, the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology, the University of Copenhagen, the University of York, the University of Turin, the University of Oklahoma and the University of Zürich/ETH Zürich in Nature Ecology and Evolution to standardize techniques in analyzing ancient proteins. This raises the question of who might possibly have died and made them boss…

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8 thoughts on “The Science Monster That Ate Seattle

  1. I, personally, will not be satisfied until they can use visible light to penetrate 3 millimeters into a mouse’s skull. Otherwise, what’s the point? They’re just wasting the taxpayer’s money. At this rate we will never win the race of cranial illumination with China and Russia and Lichtenstein.

    Liked by 1 person

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