Trumpland, a Future Retrospective

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I obtained the gift of prophecy after I was bitten by a radioactive gypsy. Lately, images of our immediate future have been flooding my mind and I HAVE TO WARN THE PEOPLE!!!

I predict…

A border wall will finally be built between the United States and Canada, but Americans will continue to escape.

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Russia, China, United States and Philippines Olympic competition: The Pan-evil Games!

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Human organ auctions.

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All Hispanics will be rounded up and transported to Mexico. When farmers start to go broke and complain, they will be rounded up and transported to Mexico.

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Emancipation Proclamation repeal.

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A five-day waiting period on the purchase of books.

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Amendment added to the Constitution making pussy-grabbing a basic human right.

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Loyalty oaths for NFL players.

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Alaska will be given to Russia… but only to watch while Trump is on vacation.

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Because of the similarities before MAGA and MAGMA, the president will, for the first time ever, sue a volcano.

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The entire US Debt will be refinanced by the Russian mob with a balloon payment due in 2025.

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The wages of blue-collar workers will drop below zero in 2019, forcing many of them to work fewer hours in order to avoid bankruptcy.

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After tireless efforts by Betsy DeVos, public school curricula will consist entirely of Steven Segal movies and getting hit on the head lessons.

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Scott Pruitt will barricade himself in his own SCIF and refuse to surrender until someone can tell him why his name as two more ‘t’s than it should.

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After violating the new Alien, Sedition and Quit Pointing Out our Faults Act, Rachel Maddow will be sentenced to two consecutive executions.

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Donald Trump’s healthcare bill will be a huge boon to medicine as it will provide medical students with more cadavers than they can use.

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