Fun Facts About the Founding Fathers and Other Alliterations

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Independence Day is set aside to commemorate the ratification of the Declaration of Independence on July 2nd, 1776. The reason we celebrate on July 4th is because, if we did what people thought we should do, we wouldn’t be very independent now, would we?

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The Fourth of July is usually celebrated with fireworks. The reason for this is to give our PTSD veterans a chance to freak out completely on a day that they don’t have to be at work.

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The U.S. Constitution is based upon the series of public discussions known collectively as The Federalist Papers. It’s a lot like Fifty Shades of Grey only with a lot less disappointment…

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The first president of the United States was George Washington who, despite having been unopposed for the office, ran a dirty and slanderous campaign.

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Ironically, Stars and Stripes Forever is getting less and less popular…

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Co-dependence Day is celebrated one week after the Fourth of July. Most people didn’t want that particular holiday ratified but they really didn’t do anything to stop it, either…

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Thomas Jefferson likened legal slavery to holding a “wolf by the ears” which was how you typically held a wolf until Benjamin Franklin invented the “wolf-handle” in 1784.

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The first two political parties in the United States were the Federalists and the Democratic-Republicans. The Federalists advocated a strong central government; whereas, the Democratic-Republicans alternated between calling itself “communist” and “fascist” and worked towards gerrymandering itself out of existence.

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The United States is not a pure democracy. Currently, it is considered a representative pseudo-socialist lassez-faire oligarchical anarchy.

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John Adams was our second president and his son, John Quincy Adams was our sixth. There were plans to make presidents out of the entire Adams Family but his children left him in a Lurch…

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The tune to My Country ‘Tis of Thee is based on the British royal anthem God Save the Queen; consequently, we’ve taken as our national anthem the Star Spangled Banner which is, instead, based upon a British drinking song… The ghost of Woody Guthrie is SO PISSED!!!

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