I Haven’t Been Wasting My Life! I’ve Been…

Image result for pig embryo

Building a collection of pig embryos that look like famous sumo wrestlers.

Image result for deer crossing

Recycling children’s tricycles into weapons with extraordinary killing power.

Image result for deer crossing

Teaching dogs to play dead REALLY well, then collecting the insurance.

Image result for deer crossing

Writing a book about a post-apocalyptic wasteland where the elite live underground and write stories about a post-post-apocalyptic future where bands of motorcyclists meet on Saturdays and ride out to Amish country with their wives.

Image result for deer crossing

Predicting where hurricanes have been.

Image result for deer crossing

Retelling Mark Twain’s Tom Sawyer from the vampire’s point of view.

Image result for deer crossing

Opening a chain of karate studios that provide after-school care and training kids in the ancient techniques and philosophies that will enable them to raise money for karate studios.

Image result for deer crossing

Creating a charity that not only allows you to sponsor a child from a third-world nation, but also allows the giver to passive-aggressively hound the child when their advice isn’t followed.

Image result for deer crossing

Sculpting a chess set where the pieces are made to look like famous pacifists.

Image result for deer crossing

Working on the distribution rights for Human Centipede collector plates…

Image result for deer crossing

 

4 thoughts on “I Haven’t Been Wasting My Life! I’ve Been…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s