Your favorite sandwich is anchovies between two pieces of beef jerky.
Half the time you give a blood sample, the vial explodes off of the needle and embeds itself into a wall.
Your stool makes an effective salt lick.
You’ve switched from a salt-shaker to a tablespoon
Your friends and family won’t eat any baked goods you prepare without rinsing them first.
The little Morton’s girl is very worried about you.
You take showers looking up at the ceiling with your mouth open.
The funeral plot you’ve picked out for yourself is classified as a future Superfund site.
You can make a corned beef just by holding a round roast in your hands for twenty minutes.
When you finish your popcorn, you find yourself licking the inside of the bag…
People keep mistaking you for Lot’s wife…
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
Whatever the name is for whatever it is you’re doing – keep doing it.
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Tim, I call it “painting myself into a corner”. I pick a topic that I cannot possibly handle and, after beating my head against the wall, it comes. It’s like childbirth only way more painful…
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like the irishman who was asked why are you beating your head against the wall? It feels so good when I stop. only when you stop, there’s another post to do…
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Sure and thet’s exactly it…
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