Things That are Exactly as Good as Nothing

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[You’ve heard the phrase, “It’s better than nothing” and the phrase “That’s worse than nothing at all”. I’ve found some things that are EXACTLY as good as nothing. Enjoy… or whatever you would do with something like this]

An online girlfriend who can’t read or write or render an image on camera.

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A small bag of acorns.

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A corsage the exact same color as your prom date’s dress.

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Any cat.

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A one-man play about what it is like to be in the audience of a one-man play.

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A last will and testament that expires upon your death.

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A murder mystery where the murder victim turns out to be “just kidding”.

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A self-driving car that has no space for passengers.

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Tennis shoes with bologna inserts.

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Currency with adjustable serial numbers.

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A seeing-eye brick.

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A crack squad of soldiers whose job it is to infiltrate the enemy, use his restrooms then sneak back to base.

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A barstool made out of orange peels.

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A firearm that only discharges if it recognizes the fingerprint of the user’s dead mother.

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Cherry-flavored suppositories.

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Lip balm for monitor lizards.

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Backstage tickets to a theater in the round.

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17 thoughts on “Things That are Exactly as Good as Nothing

      1. Ever see the spaghetti western about a blind gunfighter? Looks like SOMEbody has overcome big time…. And, the bad guy is played by (another drum roll) Ringo Starr.

        Like

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