Reasons to Go to a Museum

 

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It’s raining outside and the museum is the nearest shelter.

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You have visitation with your children on Saturday and your lawyers have recommended against you leaving them in the car outside that sex dungeon that you like.

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Legendary museum restaurant food.

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It gives you a chance to determine, through experiment, how long you have to stare at a painting before you start looking creepy to those around you.

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A good place to pick up art-loving women who also look creepy.

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Museums are great for showing your children what dinosaurs would have looked like if their skin and flesh fell off.

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You are consumed by a desire to look at trash from long dead civilizations.

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Watching parents hitting and threatening their children will make you feel better about leaving your kids in the car while you went into that sex dungeon that you like.

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You have relatives visiting from out of town and wandering around a museum is much better than having them emptying your liquor cabinet.

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You might see something that will change your life… probably on the way to or from the museum…

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Often, you are asked to become a “friend” of a museum, your friendship taking the form of a donation. If you donate enough, a museum will become your best friend and, if you need it, help you get rid of a body…

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13 thoughts on “Reasons to Go to a Museum

  1. they do that over here be a ‘friend’ it may cost you ten dollars to see everything once but if you pay $2000 you can see it as many times as you want, and you also get to see all the other museums in obscure places that nobody has heard of. You can really leverage your disappointment.

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    1. There was a photographer named “Mapplethorpe” who photographed in black and white… mostly irises and gay men. One of our museums cancelled his appearance due to a prudish outcry. So, they moved it to another museum and I went to the exhibit (I wasn’t interested until the censorship). Most of the attendees were high school girls, oddly enough.

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  2. I actually like going to museums. In regional Australia ever town has a museum filled with old machinery that was cluttering up the farmers land. So, it cleans up the farmer’s blocks, gives the retired members of the community somewhere to sit during the day and entertains caravanners who would be sitting in their vans drinking wine otherwise. Its a win, win,win, win for all involved

    Liked by 1 person

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