Futile Acts of Voter Fraud I’ve Committed


Image result for polling place

On my registration form, I deliberately didn’t capitalize my street name.

Related image

Next to my vote for my desired candidate I wrote “times infinity”.  It probably didn’t accomplish anything but, when it does work, it will DEFINITELY ensure that my candidate wins.

Related image

I started a rumor on Facebook that one of our local bond issues was caught in bed with a prostitute. I started a second rumor that the prostitute was caught in bed with a second prostitute.

Related image

I went into the voting booth, but I didn’t choose any candidates before registering my vote. Then, I took an “I voted” sticker as if I had…

Related image

I wrote in a candidate that I KNEW didn’t exist.

Related image

At the polls, I pretended to be my identical twin brother with the same name…

Related image

I stood outside the polling place and loudly called out, “What? Running out of ballots?” to cause a run on the polls.

Related image

I registered my dog and cat to vote. Then, I had them vote absentee, each for a different candidate.

Related image

I registered to vote in a state that I didn’t live in and didn’t exist. All hail West Fragylia!

Related image

I handed out literature within five hundred feet of a polling place. That literature was Sinclair Lewis’ Arrowsmith.

Related image


10 thoughts on “Futile Acts of Voter Fraud I’ve Committed

    1. Do you know how hard it is to come up with a state that doesn’t exist that actually SOUNDS like it should? I spent four months on that part. The rest of the list took approximately four minutes…

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s