I worry that people will see my laugh-lines and assume that I’ve had it too easy all my life.
When I go to a urinal and someone else walks up at the same time but finishes WAY before I do, I worry that I might be peeing wrong.
I’ve got a gnawing anxiety that people will see the way that I walk as racist.
Is the music I listen to putting subliminal messages into my head or just the idea that they are doing that?
I fear that one day I’ll forget how to speak English but my friends won’t tell me because they’ll find it endearing.
I’m afraid that they will determine that I am to be the next Dalai Lama but that I’ll be away from my phone when they call.
I worry that the women who aren’t laughing at me are being laughed at by all other women…
I feel that, if my butter is spreadable, it must have some ulterior motive for being so.
I worry that one day everything I dread is going to happen to somebody that isn’t me, but a mad scientist is going to take my brain and put it in his body. Also, he’ll be uglier than I am and he’ll spend all of my savings.
I often worry that a fire will start up in my home and my smoke detectors will be too polite to wake me.