Not a Cigar but a Whole ‘Nother Random Thought

 

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A cheerleader dislocating her spine

I’ve only had one chance to have sex with a pro-football cheerleader; but, I waited too long and she woke up.

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A quick note to the world’s animals: If you can be breaded and fried, I WILL find you and I WILL eat you.

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People complain about Donald Trump, but he is the ONLY US president capable of successfully hiding amongst a pile of traffic cones.

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You’ll never know what it’s like to be a handicapped person until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes… or, in the case of someone with no legs, his hat…

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I like Marylanders a lot more now that most of them smell like weed.

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If you were a species, found only in one remote area of the planet, do you think that makes you better than me?

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No one wants to be the “Queen of Creosote” once they find out what her duties consist of.

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When I first heard the term, I thought I knew what a “carjacker” did; but, I was WAY off.

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They should make suicide one of the seven deadly sins because at least one of them should be fatal…

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I think the world would be a very different place if serial killer was an elected position…

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I don’t have an evil bone in my body. My femur and tibia are amoral, though. I blame Hollywood and the internet.

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Goldfish grow smaller in smaller bowls. I moved into a smaller house but I’m still just as fat… probably because my exercise equipment doesn’t fit anymore.

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7 thoughts on “Not a Cigar but a Whole ‘Nother Random Thought

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