Things that are Okay to Bury

Beatrix Kiddo.

Something previously dead but now shambling about with a strange sense of purpose.

A time capsule. For those who don’t know what that is, a time capsule is essentially a garbage can that doesn’t get emptied for a hundred years.

It’s okay to bury your resentment generated by your family and friends just TAKING TAKING TAKING but not lifting a finger to help when you really needed it. Just don’t bury your resentment so deep that it can’t find its way to the surface during Christmas dinner…

Plant eggs. Trees drop a lot of eggs. If they stay on the surface, they are pretty shiftless; however, if you bury them alive, they panic and claw their way to the surface. This is why most trees have post traumatic stress disorder, so BE KIND!

It was once okay to bury treasure. Without an FDIC and with law enforcement powerless to stop pirates, burying valuables was not a bad idea. Of course, the treasures often stayed buried, making Caribbean gophers among the wealthiest in the world…

You can bury a lede. Sometimes the most important part of a story is less important than the less important parts. For example: “Trump lied about dealing with Russia so pandas are funny”.

You can bury bourbon before a wedding to ensure there will be no rain on your wedding day, forcing Alanis Morissette to sing about something else for a change. According to southern American tradition, it must be buried a month before the wedding, unopened and upside down. Also important is all alcoholics should be kept out of sight during the process…

A ship: Vikings once buried important people in large boats to ensure their trip to the afterlife would be successful… although the fact that they’ve been found underground with the bodies still on them implies that the ship never quite made it or that the afterlife is under a field in Norway…

Terra Cotta Soldiers: What is the definition of a true megalomaniac? How about a Chinese emperor who buries an army so that he can run the afterlife? Is death the great equalizer? Apparently not.