Two Sets of Random Thoughts in One Week?

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I hope that I’m never in a social situation where I have to use the term “vomit comet” more than twice…

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Anyone who tells you that they would never lie to get sex is deceiving you. I think you know why…

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Cauliflower is like foreplay:  It’s boring and awful but you eat it because of the rewards you’ll get later…

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I found out the hard way that there is nothing funny about feline leukemia.

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I understand Donald Trump’s plan to reverse global warming. If global warming is man-made, as most scientists contend, won’t wiping out the human race help to reverse that? Think, people!

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Eleven is the ONLY prime number that is divisible by eleven; moreover, if you take ANY number and divide it by eleven, then multiply it by eleven again, that number shakes its head violently and exclaims, “What the hell just happened?”…

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If you don’t want to look stupid doing something, practice it. Just don’t let anyone see you practicing because you will undoubtedly look stupid. If you have trouble hiding what you are doing from others, practice it.

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Ever see a situation where someone does something moronic but no one wants to admit how dumb it is so everyone keeps doing it? That is what caviar is.

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On a first date, I usually start by saying to the woman, “I think that Jerry Lewis was a comic genius”. On an unrelated note: I’m single.

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A prank is just an assault on someone you’re pretty sure won’t have you arrested.

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Never ally yourself with someone who buys his white flags in bulk.

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12 thoughts on “Two Sets of Random Thoughts in One Week?

  1. Back in great form! At least 4 full belly laughs…my only regret was that I didn’t save it for the evening when I think everything is funnier…tears would have been rolling down my cheeks, I hope.i remember to reread it then.

    Glad to see you return to pinnancle.

    Liked by 1 person

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