Other Things I’m Afraid of

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Don’t fear the reaper but DO fear aging rock bands…

I’ve managed to sustain my fears of failure for decades which I think is quite an achievement…

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I fear the unknown. Why? I don’t know and that MAKES IT WORSE.

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I don’t fear heights; but, I do fear breadths… mostly trying to pronounce “breadths”.

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I fear dying alone because then only one person’s day would be ruined.

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I fear spiders and their children and their parents. I also fear their in-laws because any creature who’d marry a spider would have to be pretty nuts…

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I fear being exposed as a fraud which will hamper my efforts to defraud people.

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I’m afraid of being laughed at by pretty girls when I try to say “breadths”…

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I’m terrified of illegal immigrants because they come here and don’t work and also take all of our jobs. How can you predict someone LIKE THAT?

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I fear someone breaking into my home and taking the most valuable things I own: My self-respect and my ball gag.

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I’d like to say that I don’t fear the reaper; but, after falling asleep in a wheat field, I’ve found that fear to be completely reasonable.

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15 thoughts on “Other Things I’m Afraid of

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