Medical Advice from a Terse Llama: Covid Edition

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Dear Terse Llama,

With all the Covid 19 going around, I’ve managed to stay pretty healthy; however, lately I’ve been feeling as if I might be a carrier. I just haven’t felt myself; plus, the other morning, I woke up in the ocean with fighter planes landing on my deck. Should I get tested?

Confused in Memphis

Dear Confused,

Definitely. I’m surprised your place of employment hasn’t already tested you for something.

Caduceus Medical Symbol II Clip Art | k9357357 | Fotosearch

Dear Terse Llama,

My brother disguised himself as a silky anteater but the coronavirus found him anyway. He’s feverish and achy and hasn’t eaten an ant in days. I’m thinking that the only way to outwit this disease would be to wrap myself in aluminum foil. What do you think?

Worried in Wisconsin

Dear Wisconsin,

Definitely, do NOT wrap yourself in foil. Your brother’s disguise was probably just a poor one. The Coronavirus infects people but it LOVES a good baked potato.

Caduceus Medical Symbol II Clip Art | k9357357 | Fotosearch

Dear Terse Llama,

I hear that one can test negative for anti-bodies to Covid 19 but later test positive. Is this really possible?

Curious in Sioux Falls

Dear Sue,

It is if you study harder for the second test.

Caduceus Medical Symbol II Clip Art | k9357357 | Fotosearch

Dear Terse Llama,

I understand that Coronavirus was initially spread in China from the eating of bats. Well, I have a whole freezer full of bats I’d really like to start chowing down on… Is there anything I need before I can eat them?

Hungry in Olympia

Dear Hungry,

A stomach pump.

Caduceus Medical Symbol II Clip Art | k9357357 | Fotosearch

Dear Terse Llama,

I’m sixty-four with a birthday next month. I hear that at sixty-five or older you are at your greatest risk for the virus. So, what do you recommend for someone my age?

Golden Years in Tangiers

Dear Tangiers,

Try very hard to contract the disease before your birthday and you’ll have a fighting chance.

Caduceus Medical Symbol II Clip Art | k9357357 | Fotosearch

17 thoughts on “Medical Advice from a Terse Llama: Covid Edition

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