I Have the Foresight to Talk about the Hubble Telescope

5 amazing discoveries the Hubble space telescope is responsible for

January 1994: The Mystery Nebula: That’s right, the Hubble Telescope discovered a nebula that DOESN’T LOOK LIKE ANYTHING. They tried mixing it in with Rorschach Tests and still not one person could come up with anything… except the “Stabbing Horses with a Syringe Nebula”…

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August 1994: Planet X: This is a mysterious object that has no gravity and is completely see-through. Astronomers think it might provide clues to the birth of the universe or at least clues to getting another five years worth of funding…

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July 1996: Neil Armstrong’s Contact Lens: The first man to walk on the moon left something behind. The Hubble Telescope managed to spot it because it is awesome. Apparently, Armstrong took his helmet off for a few seconds to see if his eyeballs would burst and the lens fell to the ground.

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December 1996: An Earth-Like Planet: Discovered orbiting the nearest star, just 93 million miles out.

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May 1998: Hubble discovers a binary star system with only one star.

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September 1998 – present: Hubble discovered at the center of each galaxy is a supermassive black hole that we cannot see nor are we sure exists. It’s as plain as the nose on your face, if your nose were invisible and just a hypothesis.

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September 2008: Hubble returns the first image of an exoplanet orbiting Formalhaut B. Yes, the star’s name is Formalhaut B and it is an alcoholic…

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September 2010: Hubble discovered water on Jupiter’s moon of Europa, which explains that musty smell you get when you are halfway through the asteroid belt.

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May 2011: Focusing on an area that was previously thought to be empty, Hubble found thousands of galaxies; unfortunately, when focused on an area thought to be full of material, Hubble found that it had all gone away because no one was paying attention to it.

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July 2015: Astronomers looked through the Hubble backwards to see what the universe would look like if it were much further away…

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June 2018: The Hubble fails to detect the difference between quasar 3C 273 and I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.

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15 thoughts on “I Have the Foresight to Talk about the Hubble Telescope

  1. That’s because I Can’t Beleive Its Not Butter is awesome and came from outer space. Those aliens from that obscure planet made it. It was meant to be a gift but then they learnt that the m word was frowned upon by our whole planet and they left in shame. (They were the ones who kidnapped lassie)

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Another theory I’ve heard is that it could be a black hole. At this stage it’s all speculation. It’s only because something out there seems to be influencing the outer planets, (though it could also be that we don’t totally understand the effects of gravity).

        Other stars passing close to our Solar System also shake up the Oort cloud, though it takes several thousand years to see the effect of that where we are.

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      2. It was surprising that our “solar system” and the solar system of the nearest start could actually intersect. I love astronomy and this is a great time to love astronomy…

        Like

    1. Ever see Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead? There is a part where an actor is admonishing them for walking out in the middle of their performance. One of the two implies that it isn’t a big deal for people and the actor shouts: “Don’t you see? We’re actors-we’re the opposite of people!”

      You are the tree that falls in the forest.

      Liked by 1 person

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