I have this fantasy about a physical relationship with Shakira where I tell her that I’m too old for her and she shouldn’t waste her life on me. At first, she argues the point, but weeks later, she’s leaves me in the middle of the night without a word. This is what depression and overthinking does to my sexual fantasies.
I will eat a piece of birthday cake, just for luck; however, if you offer me an anchovy, I WILL kill you.
My favorite thing to be beaten with is a palm frond.
My favorite kind of rock is sedimentary but I tell everyone that it is igneous because I want them to think I’m cool.
My family named our pet goat after me. Everyone hated that goat. I got the message.
I use three pillows when I sleep: One for my head, one to put my arm around and one to be the dog. It just lays there at the foot of the bed not hurting anyone, although they occasionally get worms.
When I wanted to quit smoking, I tried hypnosis but found I was completely immune to it. I did manage to quit during the subsequent three months when I thought I was a chicken.
I played the drums for a brief period in the eighties until the band finished their break and told me to leave their instruments alone. All told, it was about fifteen minutes. It was a wild ride!
I’ve never paid for sex knowingly.
I regret not being more involved in the civil rights movement but I was seven and was playing baseball and cowboys and Indians. We DID always let the Indians win which must’ve salved some racial wounds.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
I liked the goat bit. It made me chuckle 😄
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We named him Charlie Brown. He was a pain in the butt…
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Ok, was that a cartoon character? Anyway if he was named after you he should have been called Charming Charles 😊
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I was a little crew-cutted farm boy back then…
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Crew cuts are so cute 😃
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If you don’t have a square head they are…
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After doing a lot of online schooling with the kids I now know (or was reminded, I guess) what an igneous rock is. I do feel pretty cool to be in the “in” crowd. And the goat one made me laugh 🙂
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Chickens and rocks… it’s like you wrote this just for me.
❣️
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I hope you feel sufficiently smug about it…
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Does it show?
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I never paid for sex knowingly either. However, after the wife got the house, the kids, the cars, I realized a few thousand dollar hookers in Vegas twice a month would have been much, much cheaper in the long run.
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Shhh.. kind of my point….
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I got it. Compelled to add my .02.
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I shut my eyes when Shakira dances so I don’t feel that attraction. It’s the only way to cope. You can really shake it. And sing.
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Her hips don’t lie, but they did mislead me about some pyramid scheme and I ended up losing a lot of money. I’ll think twice before I believe someone’s torso…
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I’m building up a head of steam to write another post this week. I’ve shut off the t.v. Can’t take the “news” anymore!!!
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…but those gyrating torso’s are my weakness bro…they can get me to do…any….thing….
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I’m looking forward to it.
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Igneous rocks are hot!
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*makes mental note to never offer you an anchovy*
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I’m good at quitting smoking. I’ve done it heaps of times.
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I told my wife at the time that I’d quit when she got pregnant. Little did I guess that it would happen so soon…
But, when I give my word on something… It’s been twenty eight years since I smoked a cigarette. It took twenty years before I stopped missing them…
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I ended up giving up smoking with the aid of patches of gum. Unfortunately I ended up being allergic to the patches, but the nicotine gum got me through it. After I gave up I kept dreaming all the time I was smoking again. A couple of years ago I did start again, but it was only for a few months and I found giving up not so hard. I used to like to ponder stuff I was working on when I was smoking, and I sort of miss that. In the summertime I still get a yearning to sit out in the sun and smoke like I used to, it may take a few more years for that feeling to go away.
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*and gum
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Ever have that dream where you go on vacation and decide you can smoke but only on vacation? I’ve had that one a lot… even recently…
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My LEAST favorite kind of rock is the stable igneous kind often found on a golf course or as a paper weight in the White House.
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What comes out of his mouth BELONGS in a stable…
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Thank
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Sedimentary rocks ARE pretty cool though…
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NERD!!!
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