The Tao of Woof

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[How to understand your dog]

A low growl: “I disagree with your contention that I should not lay on the couch”

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A low growl followed by a whine: “Your unyielding position on the issue of me lying on the couch has me concerned as to your mental state”

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A whine, followed by a howl: “Please put down that goddamned harmonica!”

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Rapid angry barking: This indicates real danger like a squirrel or a phone ringing.

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Fast non-threatening barks: “Despite what you think, I contend that we are not done throwing the tennis ball”

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Dog rolls on back: A signal that she is about to fart something just awful.

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Whining: “If you have an ounce of pity, you’ll give me some of that hamburger”

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Gurgling: “I am underwater. Little help?”

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Scratching at door: “I think you need the existential experience of watching me sniff around for forty minutes and then decide I didn’t have to pee”

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Snoring: “I have spent the day protecting you from squirrels and phones so now I will fall into a coma while home invaders tie you up and ransack the house”

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8 thoughts on “The Tao of Woof

    1. Thanks so much, Robyn. It was sitting in my ‘B’ pile but recent family events have made it difficult to write anything funny yet.

      I still like that you tell me which ones make you laugh. Thanks for doing that.

      Liked by 1 person

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