The Tao of Woof

Image result for mastiff

[How to understand your dog]

A low growl: “I disagree with your contention that I should not lay on the couch”

Image result for dog

A low growl followed by a whine: “Your unyielding position on the issue of me lying on the couch has me concerned as to your mental state”

Image result for dog

A whine, followed by a howl: “Please put down that goddamned harmonica!”

Image result for dog

Rapid angry barking: This indicates real danger like a squirrel or a phone ringing.

Image result for dog

Fast non-threatening barks: “Despite what you think, I contend that we are not done throwing the tennis ball”

Image result for dog

Dog rolls on back: A signal that she is about to fart something just awful.

Image result for dog

Whining: “If you have an ounce of pity, you’ll give me some of that hamburger”

Image result for dog

Gurgling: “I am underwater. Little help?”

Image result for dog

Scratching at door: “I think you need the existential experience of watching me sniff around for forty minutes and then decide I didn’t have to pee”

Image result for dog

Snoring: “I have spent the day protecting you from squirrels and phones so now I will fall into a coma while home invaders tie you up and ransack the house”

Image result for dog


8 thoughts on “The Tao of Woof

    1. Thanks so much, Robyn. It was sitting in my ‘B’ pile but recent family events have made it difficult to write anything funny yet.

      I still like that you tell me which ones make you laugh. Thanks for doing that.

      Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s