Ironies That Probably Aren’t Ironic

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Rain, on your wedding day… unless the bride’s name is “Stormy”. If it is, you should really check into her past…

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Finding out, after working beside her for years, that your twin sister was born on the exact same day as you were and in the same hospital…

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Dreaming that the flight you will be taking for a work trip crashes, so refusing the next day to fly out, getting fired, sitting idle at home and what should come on television…? Crash.

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A guy named “John” dying on a toilet while waiting for a prostitute. It might be considered ironic if it didn’t happen so damned often…

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Spending so much time on your lottery “system” that you neglect to study for your probability class.

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Naming your child “Caesar”, and watching him slowly work his way up the corporate ladder until he becomes a grape-picker in California.

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Having a song stuck in your head while your head is stuck in a banister railing.

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Picking up a ghost hitchhiker on a lonely country road, then finding out her name is “Stormy” and she picks grapes.

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Learning martial arts your whole life, then getting into a fight with a smaller and weaker man and just when it looks like your are going to win, you find a quarter on the sidewalk.

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Copying the definition of “plagiarism” out of a dictionary.

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12 thoughts on “Ironies That Probably Aren’t Ironic

  1. As Ed Byrne said – a traffic jam when you’re already late’ is only ironic if you’re a traffic engineer going to a traffic conference. That routine got him on the late show about a million times. Ok 3 or 4 times

    Liked by 1 person

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