Permanent eye-liner so that one might look like the guy from the Cure… or Jack Sparrow… or Amy Winehouse. The list goes on and on… and then it stops kind of abruptly.
Drawing melanoma on your body. Why? Dermatologist waiting rooms chock full of Southern Living magazines.
Drawing mustaches on women’s faces in ads. It’s how Frida Kahlo got her start.
You can finish a book of crossword puzzles in half the time if you use a Sharpie. The ink bleeds through to the other side of the page, ruining the next puzzle.
Draw little cartoon glasses, beards and bow ties on the outside of your aquarium; then, try to coax the fish to them so they look like they are wearing glasses, beards or bow ties.
Draw eyes, nostrils and little teeth on the side of your hand and make an amusing puppet. Be warned: The age interval between when that terrifies a child and when the child is just embarrassed for you is surprisingly brief.
Use it to draw horizontal stripes on a t-shirt, then hang out at a bar and tell all the chicks that you just broke out of prison. Women like bad boys and, for some reason, strawberry daiquiris…
With a Sharpie, you can turn an ordinary leopard into a cheetah for those times when you need a cheetah and all you’ve got are a bunch of stupid leopards.
Use one to perform impromptu cosmetic surgery on someone who has no pupils.
Write on your inner bicep, “your card was the three of hearts”, so you can do a magic trick where they choose a card at random, and, if it’s the three of hearts, it will match what is on your inner bicep. Explain that the trick only works two percent of the time.