Things Guaranteed to Turn Out Badly

 

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A fat guy, a bicycle and a ramp.

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Borrowing money from a guy named “No-nose Morelli”.

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Gift baskets of fugu.

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Children’s toys shaped like exposed high voltage electrical wiring.

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Cherry-flavored hard candy with a soft center made of sugar, gelatin and chicken pox.

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A “1-900” suicide hot-line number.

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Rattlesnake roundups for the blind.

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Buying an iron lung at Ikea.

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Being drunk in a batting cage.

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You are attending services in an alternative church whose doors lock from the outside.

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Offering up your opinion on child discipline to a parent disciplining their child… unless they ask for your opinion… then, it will still end badly but it will be your fault for trusting them…

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Any amateur ballet recital.

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Buying a burrito from some guy who’s just walking around with one.

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So, you think your grandpa is too old to do a cartwheel?”

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14 thoughts on “Things Guaranteed to Turn Out Badly

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