Acceptable Times to Free-Associate

 

When you are a keynote speaker at a deconstructionist’s convention.

During a psychotherapy session. This includes de facto sessions such as when you mindlessly prattle on to the person in the next cubical.

When you are caught by a loved one in a big lie. If free-associating doesn’t confuse them, they might assume you are having a stroke and just feel sorry for you.

There hasn’t been a single anime series that wasn’t the result of just blurting out random nouns to a Japanese television executive.

Pretending to be schizophrenic to impress a college admissions administrator or a blind date.

If you unwittingly wander into a poetry slam.

After your wife asks if the jeans she is wearing make her look fat.

When logic doesn’t mean anything anyway, as in those times when you are arguing with ANYONE over a parking spot.

If you are writing a dictionary in no particular order.

After becoming a professional Allen Ginsberg impersonator…