I’m glad that Cyndi Lauper is still out there protecting us from psoriasis.
I’m glad that I can spend time with my sons despite their restraining orders.
I’m glad I’ve got my health. I just wish it wasn’t poor health.
I’m glad that Willy Nelson is still out there protecting us from Cyndi Lauper.
I’m glad that no one ever found out what I did, when I did it and at what convent I did it.
I’m glad that my ethics and core beliefs don’t interfere with my hypocrisy.
I’m glad that I’m literate because I’m writing this and, if I wasn’t literate, people would suspect witchcraft.
I’m glad that there are hammers; otherwise, nails would be walking around like they own the place.
I’m glad that I’m not wealthy because the one time I was able to get a camel through the eye of a needle it was time-consuming and very messy.
I’m glad to have a quick and agile mind for reasons that escape me right now.
I’m glad my ex left me because, if she’d stayed, our divorce would’ve come as a complete surprise to me.
I’m glad that I can still get sexually aroused provided there is enough Vicodin and dwarf hookers.
I’m glad that Canada lies majestically to our north… defenseless against our inevitable invasion after global warming has made our country uninhabitable.