Why I’m Glad

Related image

I’m glad that Cyndi Lauper is still out there protecting us from psoriasis.

Related image

I’m glad that I can spend time with my sons despite their restraining orders.

Related image

I’m glad I’ve got my health. I just wish it wasn’t poor health.

Related image

I’m glad that Willy Nelson is still out there protecting us from Cyndi Lauper.

Related image

I’m glad that no one ever found out what I did, when I did it and at what convent I did it.

Related image

I’m glad that my ethics and core beliefs don’t interfere with my hypocrisy.

Related image

I’m glad that I’m literate because I’m writing this and, if I wasn’t literate, people would suspect witchcraft.

Related image

I’m glad that there are hammers; otherwise, nails would be walking around like they own the place.

Related image

I’m glad that I’m not wealthy because the one time I was able to get a camel through the eye of a needle it was time-consuming and very messy.

Related image

I’m glad to have a quick and agile mind for reasons that escape me right now.

Related image

I’m glad my ex left me because, if she’d stayed, our divorce would’ve come as a complete surprise to me.

Related image

I’m glad that I can still get sexually aroused provided there is enough Vicodin and dwarf hookers.

Related image

I’m glad that Canada lies majestically to our north… defenseless against our inevitable invasion after global warming has made our country uninhabitable.

Related image

 

27 thoughts on “Why I’m Glad

  1. “Iโ€™m glad that Iโ€™m not wealthy because the one time I was able to get a camel through the eye of a needle it was time-consuming and very messy.” Made me smile ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply to masercot Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s