An avocado has around 600 mg of potassium… nearly twice that of a banana but two hundred times less potassium than what is in the human body. So, if you really need potassium, turn to cannibalism.
Avocado is a healthy substitute for butter; however, it can take up to six days to melt over your popcorn…
The avocado is NOT a vegetable… it is a fruit… like THAT’S cool…
Mexico grows avocados all year round because, unlike people, avocados CAN drink the water there…
The skin and pits of an avocado are toxic to dogs and cats; so, if you are getting tired of that yapping hairy mosquito your girlfriend calls a dog, you know what to do…
The Aztecs forbade virgins from eating avocados finally giving women there a good reason to have sex.
The avocado’s giant seed was meant to pass through the digestive tract of a giant armadillo without being digested. Virgin giant armadillos did not eat avocados.
“Avocado” is derived from the Aztec word for “testicles”… although you have to look very closely to see an avocado’s testicles.
Brazilians and Indonesians make a chocolate milkshake from avocados. It has a smooth velvety texture and looks like someone has already digested it for you. Maybe a giant armadillo.
Wanna ripen an avocado fast? Put it in a paper bag with a couple of bananas. Wanna take your monkey on a plane without having to pay for a seat? Do the same thing to it.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
A post which contains testicles, armidillos and avocados. You have really strived here Charles
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Actually, I used a Cray supercomputer to weave those three together. No mortal man could’ve done that on his own, Deb…
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No, I think you came up with that all on your own Charles. No handballing please.
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Yes, but what about the armadillo’s testicles? Are they shaped like avocados….
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They are shaped like actress Helen Mirren…
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Now that’s disturbing.
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From what I understand, she feels that way, too…
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I saw what you did there…
“feels”
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That’s right, get rid of the girlfriend!
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Funny you blog about avocado’s today. My wife just bought a bag full of them yesterday. —we haven’t had any in the house in months.
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Well, I was sitting around, yesterday, with no column for today; and, I thought to myself, “What is a topic I could get some mileage out of? I know… a fruit whose name is testicles”…
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I believe you and my wife are conspiring
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She and I talked it over and decided that we weren’t…
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“You know what to do” made laugh – fun to read (and now I know how to get that monkey on a plane) 🙂
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As if you could still find a brown paper bag, Robyn…
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Perhaps I’ll include Avocado skins in the salads I serve my wife…and wait to see what happens.
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Reminds me of a Jack Lemmon movie…
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I feel partly lied to. These were fun probably-not-facts.
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There were facts in there… but, they are kind of mixed up with the rest of it. That kind of begs the question, “If there is as much chance as something being the truth as being a lie, what good is it?”
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well, I can almost imagine the menu with… tacos and spicy guacamole of testicles 😂 sorry, avocado of cozzzzzz
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