What it Means to be a REAL Man

Fat men last longer in bed than skinny men, scientists say ...

It means we will react violently if we feel insulted enough. Oddly enough, how insulted we feel is inversely proportional to how big and scary the guy insulting us is…

Bikini Icon | Beach Iconset | DaPino

It means that we will NEVER ask for directions, use a map or follow street signs. We navigate like our fathers did: By driving around aimlessly while our wives yell at us.

Bikini Icon | Beach Iconset | DaPino

If asked about our deepest feelings, we will fart.

Bikini Icon | Beach Iconset | DaPino

Just when it looks as if we are becoming wiser, we will buy a car that is essentially a ballistic missile with seats.

Bikini Icon | Beach Iconset | DaPino

A real man has to dominate someone… if not other men, then women. If women prove too much, then a small dog. If the dog isn’t intimidated… maybe an ant farm or a parakeet…

Bikini Icon | Beach Iconset | DaPino

A real man likes sports… all sports… except soccer and tennis…

Bikini Icon | Beach Iconset | DaPino

A real man can only cook hotdogs, beans and scrambled eggs. He can make a pie only if it is a hotdog, bean and scrambled egg pie.

Bikini Icon | Beach Iconset | DaPino

When a real man is in pain, he never complains. He just punches his parakeet or ant farm.

Bikini Icon | Beach Iconset | DaPino

Not every real man knows how to fix a car; but, we all know how to stand there and say, “Did you check the wires?”.

Bikini Icon | Beach Iconset | DaPino

Real men never write humorous lists, unless those lists are about guns, knives or “boobies”…

Bikini Icon | Beach Iconset | DaPino

 

14 thoughts on “What it Means to be a REAL Man

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s