Donald Trump’s Advice on Weathering a Government Shutdown

trumprelating

If your money gets tight and you cannot afford food, maybe fire a member of your staff that you’ve been meaning to get rid of… that insolent chauffeur for example…

Related image

Yes, your family lives paycheck to paycheck. When there is six months to a year between paychecks you’ll still be living from paycheck to paycheck, only not every member of your family will still be living when it is over.

Related image

In lieu of rent, offer to paint your home for the landlord. This will make your unit that much nicer for next month when he has to evict you and rent to someone else.

Related image

Yes, your daughter turning to a career in porn is humiliating for all involved; however, there’s a pretty good chance someone will pay her a hundred and thirty thousand dollars to keep her mouth shut.

Related image

Just don’t pay your bills. When your creditors complain, sic your dozen or so lawyers on them. If you don’t have a dozen or so lawyers, take out a loan so you can retain some…

Related image

There’s always bankruptcy. Don’t worry, bankruptcy does NOT mean that Russian mob banks won’t lend you money. You may have to stay overseas for a few days and you may owe someone a “favor”. Also, you might be urinated upon…

Related image

If your father has tens of millions of dollars, arrange a loan. If your father isn’t wealthy, borrow from your wife’s father.

Related image

If you are forced to work without pay, take consolation in the fact that no one can tell you that you are overpaid.

Related image

If cash flow is a problem, evict some of you less reliable tenants. If they are widows or orphans, have them beaten up before evicting…

Related image

You can sell your organs to foreign buyers. Important note: If the person harvesting your organs is using a thresher or a combine, he probably doesn’t know what he’s doing…

Related image

When money gets tight, tell cook to make something less expensive. For example: Instead of using quail eggs with your caviar, substitute sour cream.

Related image

6 thoughts on “Donald Trump’s Advice on Weathering a Government Shutdown

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s