[This one came from an idea from Deb Whittam. She has my profound thanks]
Unlike prison, you don’t need to find the biggest patient in the waiting room and knock him out.
If you keep guessing sequentially, until you hit on a legitimate health insurance number, someone will know that something is up.
The woman taking your pulse is NOT coming on to you. I cannot stress this enough.
Thinking of taking off your pants and singing, “Don’t Cry for Me, Argentina”? A good rule of thumb for medical waiting rooms is don’t take off anything while singing something.
They may be called, “stool samples” but they are not free to anyone who wants one.
Don’t complain aloud about the magazines. Someone worked very hard to find journal-sized periodicals comprised of articles that interest literally no one.
Avoid sitting next to anyone with anything that is oozing.
Before you get completely undressed, ask yourself, is this necessary just to pay my bill?
You can tell if you have Munchhausen by Proxy Syndrome if you bring your child in for medical care and the prescription is made out for you.
If you are really contagious, don’t endanger others in the waiting room. Find out exactly when the doctor will be seeing you and then wait in a nearby coffee shop or restaurant…
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
Now that’s funny … thanks for using the idea 🙂
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Thanks for giving it, Deb. I’m always looking for ideas…
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I wondered why I kept getting funny stares while taking off my shoes and socks and singing, “Supercalifragiliciousexpialadocious!”
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Because you spelled it wrong, Robbie…. Or, is that the UK spelling?
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I did, didn’t I! I can’t tell you whether that was me or my autocorrect, but I assure you I am at least 80% sure I know how to spell it! 😂
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And, you spelled eighty percent of it correctly! Does autocorrect actually know that word (which you’ve notice I haven’t tried to spell)?
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If you need to be seen quickly, bleed.
Remember, if it bleeds, you lead.
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I remember being in the emergency room with a kidney stone. I was sitting near the nurse’s desk and everyone after me was saying that they were having chest pains… even infants were having chest pains. And, they were all being seen before me… despite the fact that my kidney was triple its normal size and pressing up against every other organ in there.
Next time: Chest pains…
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