I’m sorry I hypnotized your dog into thinking she was a squirrel, but at least you’ve got all the acorns you’ll ever need.
I’m sorry I bought you a treadmill without asking first. I’m also sorry about what I said about your butt, its size and what it looks like when you bend over.
I’m sorry I turned off the movie you were watching but I was told that Jane Fonda causes cancer.
I’m sorry about Thanksgiving dinner last year and promise to be less creative in my choice of meats from now on.
I’m sorry I made end of life decisions for your father but he seemed to be suffering tremendously. When you see him again, apologize for me.
I’m sorry I made advances to your sister, but I only did it because she reminded me of you… except she was younger, more attractive and far less willing to have sex with me.
I’m sorry I made such a scene at your family reunion but I really did think your cousin was a werewolf.
I’m sorry I celebrated your birthday without you.
I’m sorry I hurt your feelings but I didn’t know the term “vindictive witch” was one of your “buttons”…
I’m sorry I stole the pain-killers from your medicine cabinet; but, in my defense, I did use the money I got from selling them to buy you that treadmill… not that you need it…
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
Ok, but did you use the treadmill, did you eat the acorns, huh?
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They weren’t FOR me… and I prefer honey to acorns…
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They weren’t for her either, were they? They were for Jane Fonda. I’ve got you figured out buster 😛
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At least Jane Fonda works out… I’ve got it on tape…
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Did you try to stuff and roast a wombat again? I told you it makes horrible Thanksgiving leftovers… but did you listen? No.
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You don’t ROAST a wombat. You stew them and serve them over rice. Duh!
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Gosh this person seems to have thin skin – a lot of “buttons.” I mean, they have a treadmill now for goodness gracious.
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I know, right? Seems I have to walk on egg-shells… and then she complains that she has to sweep up egg shells…
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For me, your verses are interspersed with ‘Image result for acorn white background.” Machines… gotta love ’em!
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You’ve gotta admit, that’s pretty meta. Like that Philip K Dick novel where a guy is looking at a hot dog stand, turns away for a second and when he turns back it is replaced by a 3×5 card that says, “hot dog stand”…
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I can hardly wait to see HER “Apologize” post — or don’t you think she has anything to be sorry about about you you (sorry about that that)?
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She
is
oblivious…
Even our offspring are kind of incredulous with how she remembers things…
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It’s okay, but only because my cousin is indeed a werewolf.
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It’s awful having to schedule family events around the next full moon, isn’t it?
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The only thing worse than that is when someone forgets!
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